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Delightful minivan-driving soccer mom teaches conflict resolution skills to adorable child

After she angrily pulled aside Arakaki’s car and yelled at him, she sped off the next stop sign, where she promptly stopped her vehicle, stuck her arm out the window, and flipped Arakaki off.

While stopped, Ong continued to shout abuse Arakaki until he honked his horn, at which point she exited her vehicle and approached his.

“You think you’re so fucking funny?” she asked. “When you cut me off, I almost fucking wrecked you asshole! Film that!” she shouted, before attempting to grab Arakaki’s phone.

[…]

"Fuck off, you fat ass! Fatty! I’ll fuck you up! Fat ass!” As Arakaki drove up, Ong sang, “Go fat boy, go fat boy go! Go fat boy, go fat boy go!”

Drunk Dynasty: The Rumble In The Tundra

Area woman and family get in drunken contretemps, fists fly, noses bleed

“There’s some sort of unofficial birthday/Iron Dog-type/snowmachine party in Anchorage. A nice, mellow party, until the Palins show up,” Coyne wrote. “There’s beer, of course, and maybe other things. Which is all fine, but just about the time when some people might have had one too many, a Track Palin stumbles out of a stretch Hummer, and immediately spots an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. Track isn’t happy with this guy, the story goes. There’s words, and more.”

“The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t,” Coyne continued. “At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, ‘Don’t you know who I am!’ And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, ‘This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!’”

This is like the least unexpected news ever.

It’s A Very Building #7 9/11 Kind Of Day. Also Too: Never Forget!

Truthers commemorate 9/11 with Times Square ad showing WTC 7 imploding on infinite loop

A group calling itself Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth is commemorating the thirteenth anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center by displaying a massive digital advertisement in Times Square that purports to show World Trade Center 7 (WTC 7) falling in a controlled demolition.

“WTC 7 came down in a classic controlled demolition,” the advertisement claims. “The government says fire brought it down, but anyone who watches the video can see otherwise.” Behind those words, video of WTC 7 falling repeats on a loop.

The digital advertisement is 15 seconds long, and will be displayed on 45-foot by 45-foot screens that will be visible, the group claims, to almost 100,000 people daily — including employees of The New York Times.

Nothing is ever so bad that we can’t make it much much worse

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Condoleezza Rice: NFL commissioner?

Now, some are saying Condoleezza Rice — who expressed an interest in the NFL job before — should replace Goodell. A Tuesday editorial in The Washington Post wrote that the NFL is “an institution in dire need” of Rice’s help, with a blaring headline: “Condi Rice: The one person who could save the NFL.”

According to a 2002 story in The New York Times, “[Rice] wants to be commissioner of the National Football League. She is serious. ‘That’s absolutely right,’ she said, ‘though not immediately and not before Paul Tagliabue is ready to step down. I want to say that for the record.’”

What could possibly be better than replacing the guy who pronounced sentence on Ray Rice before bothering to get all the facts with the former National Security Adviser who blew off an intelligence report entitled “Bin Ladin Determined To Strike in US," because it didn’t give her the exact date and time?

The poor (who make $400K per year) you will always have among you

How can you make $400,000 dollars a year and still feel like you’re just getting by?

Yes, how? How can that happen? Why is that happening? Where are we? Am I taking crazy pills? Let’s forget that the median middle-class household income peaked at $56,080 in 1999 and it stands at roughly $50,017 now. Welcome to examples of the shrinking middle class, Wall Street Journal. Give us a financial breakdown that we can all relate to, please.

The average American really needs to cut back on those ‘club dues’….

This is the most American story ever

Police say an argument between parents and a coach at a junior football league practice in Kansas escalated into a fight involving gunfire.

Police say one man complained that his son was not getting enough playing time during Monday evening’s practice at Linwood Park in Wichita. Then six men surrounded the coach and started punching him.

Police say one of the parents was armed with brass knuckles and another indicated he had a gun.

Then the coach’s wife pulled out a gun and fired a shot into the air. Police say the coach subsequently went to his car where he retrieved a second gun and threatened the men with it.

His assailants fled before officers arrived and confiscated both guns.

No one was seriously hurt and no arrests were made.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Adventures in lawyering

According to TMZ, Ray Rice’s attorney, Michael Diamondstein, had a copy of the elevator tape.

Let’s check the wayback machine and see what he told reporters, ‘kay?

“This is just a complete hypothetical,” Diamondstein told Matt Hammond of ESPN 97.3 FM in New Jersey.  “Let’s assume for the sake of argument, rather than enter into the pretrial diversionary program that  [Rice] entered into, we hypothetically move forward on the case.  And hypothetically we litigate 100 motions and the video comes out and the video shows — hypothetically speaking now, hypothetically speaking — shows that Ray wasn’t the first person that hit and Ray was getting repeatedly hit but just Ray hit harder, fired one back and hit harder.  Hypothetically speaking, and he gets found not guilty.  Is that result somehow better?  Is it better for the public?  Is it better for the Ravens?  Is it better for Ray?  Is it better for Janay?”

Michael Diamondstein has a soul, hypothetically speaking….

Washington pastor has wonderful way with words, metaphors

Wash. state megachurch closes branches after founder is caught calling women ‘penis homes’

Washington megachurch Mars Hill announced that it is closing several branches, and has dismissed a pastor after he recently called for the resignation of founder Mark Driscoll, who had created controversy with his anti-LGBT and anti-woman views.

[…]

On Monday, “Love, Joe, Feminism” blogger Libby Anne pointed out one of the more disturbing notions from Driscoll’s Internet trolling days.

“Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while,” Driscoll wrote under the name William Wallace II in 2001. “Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.”

“Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home,” he continued. “But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not… And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.”

"I am single and my penis needs a home" is the worst pick-up line EVER.

Peyton Manning should wear number 420

At Mile-High Tailgates, the Sweet Smell of Herb Is the New Barbecue

Smart take from a stoner on the intersection of legal dope and football in Colorado:

I’m standing in a parking lot overlooking the stadium known prosaically as Sports Authority and poetically as Mile High. That handle is metaphorically apt, too, as I’m engaged in the all-American sport of tailgating, with Corey and the Wookie and four friends.

They’ve got the requisite awning next to their pickup truck, a grill and sweet microbrews. And they have stuffed righteous-smelling marijuana — the sativa variety — in a pipe that is detailed with a neat little Denver Broncos insignia.

The tall, red-bearded professional chef with excellent shades who insists his friends know him as the Wookie fires up the pipe and, amid clouds, talks legalized weed and the world that has followed on its heels. “Why do you think Peyton Manning invested in pizza places after legalization? Boom! Stoners love pizza.”

World’s most responsible drunk driver turns himself in after 2 hours

A 20-year-old Miamisburg man drove to the police department to turn himself in because he realized he was too drunk to drive and would get involved in a crash, according to police.

Robert L. Brock, 20, drove his van to the Miamisburg police department and turned himself in at 6:36 a.m. for driving under the influence. He tested four times the legal limit.

He is in the Montgomery County Jail now on an OVI charge.

The officer who arrested him said Brock showed obvious signs of intoxication.

"He told me that he was drunk and that he wished to be arrested," said Officer Steven Gau.

"He told me that he had been looking for a police officer for over two hours to try to turn himself into. He realized that he was too drunk to be driving. Stated that he was concerned that if he continued to drive he was going to get into an accident and kill himself or somebody else," Gau said.

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