The Raw Story, raw

Jul 31

Why does Amanda Carpenter hate special needs kids?

Meet Amanda Carpenter, speechwriter and adviser to Ted Cruz:

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Here is a tweet Carpenter sent out today:

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Here is the story behind the Katy Perry concert:

President Barack Obama says the Special Olympics and its athletes represent values like pride, dignity and teamwork that offer lessons for all people.

Obama is marking the 46th anniversary of the Special Olympics with a dinner and celebration at the White House. He’s praising athletes who have gone on to contribute to their communities in various ways after competing in the Special Olympics.

Professional athletes, A-list celebrities and singers like Stevie Wonder and Katy Perry are gathering in a specially decorated East Room for the occasion. Perry plans to perform later in the evening.

Amanda Carpenter is a dick.

h/t Oliver Willis

Jul 30

Mean ‘ol liberals break Internet, kill Reagan again

RIP ReaganBook, we hardly knew ye:

Wheels within wheels, man…

Oh Jeebus, the 9/11 truthers are going to have a field day with this:

Scientists have found the secrets of the old ship unearthed in 2010 under the ruins of the Twin Towers. First, the large vessel—buried under 22 feet (6.7 meters) of soil and wreckage—was built around the same time the Declaration of Independence was signed. There’s more—but there’s also one big mystery left unsolved.

By comparing the wood’s ring patterns with the historical record, researchers at Columbia’s Tree Ring Lab led by Dr Martin-Benito found that the ship was built in a Philadelphia shipyard around 1773. Most importantly, the rings matched samples from Independence Hall—the building where the founding fathers signed both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States.

Obviously, 9/11 was an inside job committed by Freemason Founding Fathers —who were all cryogenically frozen and who also happen to be alien lizard people — attempting to unearth their steampunk space galleon in order to return to their home planet.

There really can be no other explanation.

Today.

It was just like this.

Jul 29

Department of Really Bad Ideas That Could Go Horribly Horribly Wrong

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George Zimmerman, the former neighborhood watch volunteer acquitted in the shooting death of teenager Trayvon Martin, told police he was working night security at a Florida gun dealer after being discovered sitting in his truck outside the store after midnight Sunday evening.

According to the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Zimmerman was questioned in front of Pompano Pat’s, a retailer specializing in guns, ammunition, and motorcycles located in Deland.

According to  Sgt. Chris Estes, “He said he had permission from Pat Johnson to do night security but our officers could not make contact with Pat Johnson to verify that so we did an information report.”

[…]

The gun sales manager at Pompano Pat’s said Zimmerman is not employed by the the shop.

“George Zimmerman is not an employee of the business and he is not getting paid in any way, shape or form by Pompano Pat’s,” Sam Porter said.

(Image via Gorilla Pig)

Jul 28

Hey preachers, leave them kids alone…

Well, this is quite disturbing…

Children’s Christian revivals.

Evangelical Christians around the globe are increasingly holding large children’s revivals where they practice a disturbing ritual called “anointing by the holy spirit,” “being slain by the holy spirit,” “catching the holy ghost,” or “falling out.”

It is intimidating, physically coercive, deeply stressful, and emotionally manipulative. Children are under tremendous pressure to cooperate, to mimic the adults’ bizarre behaviors, and to avoid being judged unworthy, disappointing, or worse, under Satan’s spell.

By the way, these same people want to have a say about your health and reproductive choices.

Ammosexuals scared limp by lady boobs

Come and Take It Texas, a group affiliated with the open carry movement, is complaining that topless protestors are ruining their monthly walks in support of gun rights.

They are being “trolled by skanky topless libtards,” one post on the group’s Facebook page reads. Another post identifies the counter-protestors as members of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America (MDA), even though they made no claim to being affiliated with that organization.

The topless counter-protestors carried signs that read, “You realize that everyone thinks you’re overcompensating for your teeny tiny ‘gun’ right?” and “Boobs for peace.” The women confronted the open carry advocates and said that as long as they openly carried their weapons, the counter-protestors would bare their breasts.

Jul 27

Tweet of the day

Libertarianism is astrology for men.

— Dan (@dankmtl) July 8, 2012

Simple. Perfect.

To be honest, the Bible doesn’t mention IUD’s

(via Betty Bowers)

'B' is for brutality, brawling, and beat-down

Today on Sesame Street, Elmo goes on a ride-along with officer Stan and learns about street justice:

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(Photo credit: Josh Marshall)

Jul 26

Man brings knife to gunfight, Guess what happens next. Go on, guess…

A 50-year-old Queens man was killed after bringing an ornamental dagger to a gun fight over a crack deal gone bad, police and the man’s roommate said Saturday.

The victim, identified by his roommate as Jose (Joey) Feliciano, became enraged when a 32-year-old man visiting his apartment in the Woodside Houses on Broadway around 11 p.m. Friday refused to front him some crack, cops said.

Feliciano grabbed a decorative dagger off the wall and chased his dealer into the building’s lobby, police said.

“I grabbed him and tried to stop him, but he pulled away,” said Feliciano’s roommate, Richard Fischer, 54.

As Feliciano lunged with the sword, the drug dealer whipped out a gun and shot his assailant in front of the apartment complex.

Scenes from a Con II

Apologetic Mormon Man:

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(Image I09)

Scenes from a Con

Seen at San Diego Comic Con :

Hanukkah Wolverine

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(Image I09)

Jul 25

Don’t know much about history. Don’t know much about anything at all.

Shake your head in wonderment or face-palm at your leisure at the sheer derpiness of this:

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When someone reminded her of women’s suffrage,  here is how she responded:

@SafiyyahLogan: @CeeJayCraig you think we got voting rights handed to us? No” But we can vote in 2014

— Caroline Craig (@CeeJayCraig)
July 21, 2014

They’re not ‘belittling’ you because you’re an anti-feminist, or even because you’re a woman. They’re doing it because you’re idiot.

Bless your heart.

Jesus is white, Goddammit!

Christian groups call for boycott of ‘Boondocks’ creator’s new comedy, ‘Black Jesus’

The Christian group One Million Moms wrote on its website that the series — which was produced by The Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder and stars Gerald “Slink” Johnson in the titular role — is “blasphemous” because it “depicts [Jesus] living in Compton Gardens and makes a mockery of our Lord.”

In the trailer, “Jesus” is seen spouting profanity and explaining that he’s entitled to more marijuana because he “died for your f*cking sins.” It is also clear from the trailer that the main narrative of the series will concern whether the man who claims to be “Jesus” is, in fact, the Christian savior or just another messianic figure like David Koresh.